Smoke this, Bloomberg

In three months, it will be against the law to smoke in public parks and beaches in New York City due to the health risks and Mayor Bloomberg being an asshole. However, law-enforcing horses are free to defecate anywhere they want. Like, in Times Square (see below). Or in Central Park, where cars are permitted to emit their fumes.

I say we smoke that shit!

Buffalo Blog Sequel

For some reason, I'm particularly fond of this Buffalo sauce ... 

even though it's from Texas.

Buffalo Flavored Blog

When I went to orientation at Buffalo State College in 1983, they provided the anxious future students with a popular Buffalo staple called Buffalo Chicken Wings. I was entranced and recall asking, "What do you do with this white sauce?" The natives laughed. The sauce was just blue cheese dressing and one simply dipped their wing in it to cut back on the hot sauce flavor. Of course!
Wings were invented at the famed Anchor Bar in Buffalo in 1964 when the proprietor needed something quick to make for her college-aged son and his pals. She fried some chicken wings and drowned them in hot sauce. Simple. But, it took a while for this snack to take flight. The first time these delicious treats were even mentioned on national TV was on the Today show in the early 80s. 
Since then, the Buffalo Chicken Wing has become a world-wide phenomenon. And Buffalo Flavor is even more popular. Today you can find "Buffalo" flavored everything: chips, tortillas, popcorn, pretzels, pizza, tacos, etc. The major junk-food chains all have a Buffalo burger or wrap. There are hundreds of  Buffalo Wild Wings chains across the USA. Nearly every snack now comes in Buffalo flavor. 
I've even seen the flavour in UK snacks, but I've never found an establishment that makes the wings. Perhaps I should open a Buffalo Wing Shoppe in London?!
Funny thing is, these Buffalo flavored products don't taste anything like actual buffalo, which is a slightly gamey version of beef and a less gamey version of deer. Nor, do they taste like the city of Buffalo, which would taste like snow. The taste like chicken. Just like frogs' legs.
May I suggest Buffalo Frogs legs? Buffalo flavored Buffalo burgers? Or, better yet - a Buffalo Hot Dog, which is not made from either dog or buffalo, but is certainly hot. 
As for the dipping sauce, that's up to you.

Holding Pattern

Hello sole reader. 
Forgive my lack of blogs for the past week. I'm currently in a holding pattern; circling my own life over and over and over. Hence, I am incapable of seeing anything else of interest. Or writing about it. Or mocking it. Or posting pics of it.
I promise to be back soon. 
In the meantime, eat veggies. They help you live longer. And we all want that, now don't we?
xo PMM

Spider-Man 1-Minute Good Spin!

What's fair is fair ...

Spider-Man Reviews in a Minute

I made a 1-minute video for all of my cherished ADD followers:

Give Me Your Tired ...

your poor ...

Your huddled masses ...

The wretched refuse ...

 ... of your teeming shore!

An Itch to Scratch

The nice, red-haired Indian man at my local deli, who has seen me at least 3-4 times a week for the past 10 years, recently said, "You used to be de incense guy?" 

I replied, "The what?" 

He asks, "You did de incense cards?" 

I said, "I don't know about that. Maybe you have me confused with a salesperson." 

He insists, "No. I know it was you. I just realized. You did de incense! Dat is so cool!"

I blinked and stared blankly. After a moment, he pointed to the lottery cards, and I realized he was saying the "Instant Guy."

"Oh," I said, "The instant-scratch off cards. Scratcher Guy for the New York Lottery. Yes."

He squeals, "Yes! Dat was you! Why you not ever play the lottery here?"

I said, "I think it's fixed. And the lines are too long!"

True story.

It might have taken him 12 years to figure it out, but it's always nice to be recognized.

CLICK HERE to see bits of the 1999 commercials, to scratch your itch.

Priscilla: Queen of The Desert Storm

Come to Broadway ...

Where the drag queens, tourists 
and armed soldiers play together!

The Edward Albee Project

HERE'S THE PLAN:

Call up my buddy Eddie Albee and ask him if he has any old or new plays he's socked away in a drawer. I submit those plays to every regional theater in the United States, with my name as the playwright. I wait 6-12 months and get tons of rejection letters. Then, I re-submit the plays with Edward Albee's name on them, and they all get picked up!

NOTE: I don't actually approve of shows or movies with the word PROJECT in them. And I don't actually know Edward Albee, who has written some great plays like "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" and "A Delicate Balance." He also wrote many weird ones like "The Goat or Who is Sylvia?" and "The Play About the Baby."  If you know him, can you run this idea by him? I think he would go for it.

Rachel Maddow is So Cute

During her winking coverage of the crisis in Egypt, Rachel Maddow thought it would be appropriate to use the following chyrons on her show. Ya know, to really reach people. Great work, Rachel!

Oh! Like the Bangles song from 1986! Timeless.

"Frenemies" Barack and Mubarak. Adorable!

Puppies + Babies Laughing

Sometimes, we all need a little laugh.