Attention Bombers!

Authorities tracked Times Square car bomb idiot Faisal Shahzad to a flight he was on, bound for Dubai. 

Flight attendant makes announcements ... Tray tables up. Electronic devices off. Seat belts fastened.

Here's skinny Faisal, sitting in his tiny coach seat, thinking, "I did it. Sorta. But, I didn't get caught! Ha ha. Nee ner nee ner nee nerrrr."

Plane starts to taxi onto the runway.

Faisal thinks, "Hmmm. What movie am I going to watch on this long flight? Something with Sandra Bullock, perhaps?"

The plane stops moving. It sits there. And sits there.

Captain announces that the flight will be returning to the gate.

Faisal, "Fuck. I really wanted to start watching that Sandra Bullock movie."

Plane pulls up to the gate and they sit there some more. 

Faisal gets an uncomfortable feeling in his lower abdomen.

The passenger next to Faisal turns to him and says, "Do you smell something funny?"

The hatch opens. 

Faisal adjusts ... for he has just shat himself.

Men in uniform storm the plane and remove Faisal. Passengers cheer.

Nee ner nee ner nee nerrrr.