Girl Found in Swamp! Ban the Book!

The handsome, brave man James King, who found missing Autistic girl Nadia Bloom deep in a swamp in Winter Springs, Florida, credits God for directing his path "straight to her." 
Unfortunately, God ignored the poor, wet, 11-year old for four days as she was ravaged by stinging mosquitoes and taunted by toothy alligators. 
God did not give any direction to the teams of divers and dogs who attempted to sniff her out for four days. 
And it was a GPS system and a trail of toilet paper that led the helicopters to their location deep in the dangerous swamp, not God.
But, what has not been seriously addressed is that little Nadia was clearly led astray by her recent reading of an "American Girl" book called "Lanie's Real Adventure," which tells the story of an intrepid young girl going on a nature hike. 
Clearly, these kinds of books are destroying the minds of young girls everywhere, leading them down dark, muddy, overgrown paths that not even God would venture into.
BAN THE BOOK! SAVE A LIFE!