Farewell 2010!

Hello Sole Reader/Stalker,
I've been so busy creating visually stunning and topical viral videos and pies the past month, that I've neglected my blog. This is going to change! As this year draws to a close, I vow to keep you entertained with even more side-splitting observations in 2011. 
Writing isn't easy, as you can tell by my past posts, but someone needs to get all the political-socio-pop culture-NYC happenings-TV disasters out there, and that responsibility has clearly fallen into my boney lap.
I encourage you all to find your voice. Embrace your opinions. Seek the truth. And if you can't find any of those, then make shit up.
I close with the video cartoon I recently created that has brought me and the entire world the greatest joy this year. Here's hoping that 2011 isn't a disaster ... like Spider-Man.
xo Pete

Cabaret Show

I made a sequel to One Man Show. Here it is ... xo

Dollars for Donuts

I tried to withdraw a French Cruller and a Caramel Latte, but all I got was a hundred dollar bill and a withdrawal fee. America really does run on Dunkin'.

One Man Show

I teach classes in creating one man shows. I direct one man shows. I performed several one man shows. So, I made a short movie about not doing one man shows.

Lost Elmo, Elmo & Elmo!

Saw this creepy gang outside Radio City Music Hall.

Insert your own witty caption. I'm too traumatized.

Gay People Hate Me

I posted a YouTube video featuring shots of Lea Michele's intense performance of "Don't Rain on My Parade" at the 2010 Tony Awards. I scored it with Jerry Goldsmith's music. 
I got hate mail. 
Below are some of the exchanges I had with the angry defenders. I thought you'd enjoy my responses (in yellow). I know I did.

You can view the video HERE and judge for yourself.

xo Blackout Pete

Cracked Nutter

(The Sugar Plum Fairy photo was way too graphic to post)

Happy National Opt-Out Day!

Get ready for long lines and irate carnivores! 
     Brian Sodegren started this insane National Opt-Out Day movement saying, ""The goal of National Opt-Out Day is to send a message to our lawmakers that we demand change. No naked body scanners, no government-approved groping. We have a right to privacy and buying a plane ticket should not mean that we're guilty until proven innocent."
     Not surprisingly, Mr. Sodegren, who's rumored to have a disaster films fetish, a miniscule penis and a history of sexual abuse isn't even flying during the holiday. 
     Thanks to Brian, and the bomb-loving idiots who are protesting with this couch potato, the rest of us law-abiding citizens will be arriving late to Grandma's house and eating over-cooked turkey at midnight. 
     Here's hoping Mr. Sodegren's plan makes this Thanksgiving "the bomb."

Hand Job

The local deli installed this handy device ...

It's so complimentary ...

It's robo-voice told me "You have lovely, well-maintained cuticles, Mr. Marino, and you are very handsome."

You Are What You Eat

... especially if this is how you start your day. 

"Things" on sale!

Just in time for that special someone 

who asked Santa for "THINGS" for Christmas.

Expectations

My therapist suggested 
I lower my expectations, 

so I suggested 
she lower my co-pay.

Doggie in the Window

So, do I get paid a whopping $2,495.00 for this fugly creature to come home with me and slobber all over my couch? Or is that how much I have to pay? Cause, I can get slobbering on my couch for free after a couple of shots of tequila and a good pick-up line.

Why Our Voting System Sucks

Two words ... Butter Pecan. Butter Pecan?! 

Seriously?

Apologies

Hello Loyal Reader,
I'm so sorry that I haven't blogged in a few weeks. I was very busy working on a brand new show that only my closest friends and family came to see. I will be back soon with even more average observations and sub-standard photos.
xo Blackout Pete

UFO's and What Gets Me ...

... is that when I posted the story of witnessing UFO's in the sky over NYC yesterday afternoon, many of my closest friends mocked me. Literally, mocked me, like I was a nut job, a liar or stoned -- which I have indeed been at various times of my life and this week. People were even mocking us on the street as we watched. 3 dozen people got mocked!
Thing is, I never used the word aliens. Or spaceships. I just said UFO. And that was what it was. And it was thrilling. 
Thanks, New York for another experience that could only happen here. 
Here's a video of the crowd that I shot. Couldn't make out the shapes in the sky with my camera. The people were more interesting! UFO OVER NYC

BABY - FAT

Trying to lose weight? Listen to this!

Food for Thought

Can someone tell me what's so "creative" about poking a stick in something, dipping it in hot sugar and rolling it in nuts? Sounds like just another Friday night in my bedroom.

Hold the Pepperoni Sprinkles!

Pizza Cones are here ...

... cuz pizza was so challenging 

to eat "on-the-go" in the past.

Fire Sale!

Future Starbucks, T-Mobile, or Pinkberry?

Dreaming No Longer Free

Separated at Birth #4

Renee Zellweger

Chipette

Sweet Surgery

What's wrong with this game-based candy? 

No livers, bladders or spleens.

Unicorns DO Exist!

And it's flavored with glitter!

Olympic Stripping

And don't forget to get

your tix for the upcoming

Lap Dancing Championships!

Happy 12th Birthday Google!

I wish my friends knew about you! 

But, I think you're swell.

Tag! You're Not It.

Overheard this lass complaining to her gal-pal that she hasn't had a date in over a year.

Hmmm...

Mobile Phone News!

Great news: The mobile phone you carry around with you all day is now fully functional and able to accept phone calls!  That's right. You no  longer need to waste hundreds of dollars a year to merely use it as an answering machine. 
So, go ahead and answer that incoming call. 
It just might be the call that saves your life.

Movie Review: "THE TOWN"

Melodramatic, Boston-baked hogwash ... 

with a generous helping of greasy beans. 

Happy Hour, anyone?

Suddenly, that Mayan calendar 

prediction doesn't seem 

so far-fetched.

REALLY BIG SIGN

(really small arms)

(really high hair)

Three Square Meals

This food truck makes the third meal of the day worth waiting for.

Director David Fincher ...

... is quoted in New York Magazine regarding directing Aaron Sorkin's script for the Facebook movie The Social Network:

"I think good storytelling is always an interesting directorial challenge."

And here I thought good storytelling was the primary challenge.

A Very Jersey Halloween

The scariest new Halloween costumes to hit the racks this Autumn are from the fine folks on the Jersey Shore reality show.

Back in the day, these fire-retardant, polyester frocks were simply referred to as the "Super Cocaine Man" & "Super STD Girl" costumes. Re-branding. Gotta love it.

The Wonderful Oprah of Oz

BIG NEWS!

John Travolta is piloting the plane that's forcing Oprah's audience to go to Australia. The jet will be taking off directly from the Oprah stage. Steadman and Dr. Oz will be serving cocktails and providing safety instructions. Ms. Winfrey and her lover Gayle King will be on a separate flight piloted by Crocodile Dundee and Tyler Perry.

G'day, mate!

Dog Like an Egyptian

One of my neighbors is clearly attempting

to build an Alpo pyramid.

Catch the Wave

See? Microwave ovens aren't safe.

But, fun for parties!

FISHY NYC

Fishing is really fun in the Hudson River.

Plus, they have eels.

Wicked Swag

In addition to T-shirts, towels, hoodies, pajama sets, yoga pants, mugs, golf balls, wands, pins, umbrellas, glasses, keychains, water bottles, necklaces, charms and condoms, the international smash WICKED is now selling "Wicked Cars" ...

But, does it fly?

Coffee Snobs Take Heed

I recently spent some time with a couple of lovely coffee snobs.

According to them, the water you use in your Bodum French press or Melitta cone must first be boiled, then cooled for exactly 6 minutes before pouring it over your meticulously ground, organic coffee beans.

Granted, their coffee tastes delicious (even though they don't use filtered water!) but it's an awfully time-consuming process.

I found the solution! Take the kettle off the flame 6 minutes before it boils! In essence, saving yourself 12 minutes.

Or, just go to Starbucks like the rest of the galaxy.

Thinking, thinking ...

... nope, I got nuthin'. But, make sure to take my award-winning writing & performance classes starting tonight at The PIT!

MTA offers FREE foot massage

Available on the A, C, and E subway platforms.

Pacino on Broadway

Get your tickets for

"The Big Picture of Al Pacino",

coming soon to the Broadhurst Theater

in New York City.

7-11 : Innovators of Fine Coffee Products

Light My Fire

A lone brown Bic lighter remains on the store display, ever since Columbo went off the air. Can you find it in your heart to adopt this little brown tube of fun and fire?

Pasta for Dummies

Thank God someone finally invented a device that helps measure those unwieldy spaghetti strands. I've always found that to be such a difficult task.

Make Your Bed

Glad to see the local homeless guy who lives outside my plush Chelsea digs had the decency to make his bed this morning ...

Need Advice? Go to Scotland!

I believe this flashy-looking establishment is owned and operated by one Lucy Van Pelt.

New Treat!

Yay! Someone finally realized how great

Rice Krispie Treats go with ice cream.

License to Re-Gift

So, now that New York State has changed the souvenir license plates from blue to retro yellow, will the gift shops in NYC change the useless "name" keychains as well? Just wonderin'. Cuz then I would need a new one.

Tasteless British Flavour

Seems like the UK took a tip from our Yankee trailer-residing residents!

Coke and vodka ... in a can.

Tasteless British Humour

I wonder which came first, the product or the name of the product?