Then I noticed this very official note attached to the shopping cart ...
Some homeless people are such dicks.
Showing posts with label homeless. Show all posts
Showing posts with label homeless. Show all posts
1.03.2011
8.20.2010
Make Your Bed
Glad to see the local homeless guy who lives outside my plush Chelsea digs had the decency to make his bed this morning ...
5.20.2010
HEINOUS HELPFUL #1
"Homeless and hungy"
That's what the old homeless man's cardboard sign said.
If I pause to inform him he misspelled a word, is it heinous or helpful?
That's what the old homeless man's cardboard sign said.
If I pause to inform him he misspelled a word, is it heinous or helpful?
5.07.2010
Rejection Rejection Rejection
Many homeless people "live" in my neighborhood, and often beg me for spare change. I never give it, since I only carry large bills and plastic.
Yet I'm always impressed with their reaction to my miserly ways, for after I reject them, they simply say, "God Bless."
I receive rejections on a daily basis ... from festivals, producers, auditions, future lovers, etc.
How I wish I could respond with a simple "God Bless" instead of the usual "Fuck Off."
A tip of the hat to the more civilized homeless population.
Yet I'm always impressed with their reaction to my miserly ways, for after I reject them, they simply say, "God Bless."
I receive rejections on a daily basis ... from festivals, producers, auditions, future lovers, etc.
How I wish I could respond with a simple "God Bless" instead of the usual "Fuck Off."
A tip of the hat to the more civilized homeless population.
3.18.2010
7.25.2009
Snitch
As I walked to get my cup of coffee from my local deli, a homeless guy outside the deli said,
"Hey buddy, got a quarter?"
Of course I didn't. I only carry one-hundred dollar bills.
When I left the store, I saw the homeless guy steal a container of fruit from the ice box outside the deli, which he then tossed to his homeless accomplice a few feet away. Boy, these guys are intrepid!
I debated if I should say something to the deli owner.
The homeless guy caught my eye again and said, "Hey buddy, got a quarter?"
As if he didn't just ask me that same question a moment earlier.
Insulted that he didn't remember me, I went back into the deli and heroically reported the crime I had witnessed ...
"Little homeless guy in yellow tattered shirt lifted some melon and tossed it to fat homeless guy in red shirt out there."
I really need to carry more quarters, or make a better first impression. And, I need to understand how it's possible for a homeless guy to be fat if he lives off of stolen fruit.
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