Comfort Zoned

Recently, I proclaimed that use of the term "Out of my comfort zone" was prohibited. That order still stands. 
But, let me clarify for those of you who are still confused. 
One may not use that term when speaking about themselves (i.e.- "Well, I didn't really have a good time. Bondage clubs are out of my comfort zone." )
However, the term MAY be used, periodically, when referring to someone else ... (i.e.- "Well, Mary didn't really have a good time. Bondage clubs are out of her comfort zone.")
--- Management

To reference previous memo, please see: Office Memo

Attacking Carrie

In the 50s, we had this horror movie:

In the 90s, we had this nightmare:

And today, we have this monster:

The attack of the 50-year old woman is equally terrifying.

Hopalong

Somewhere, a forlorn child rides a broom.

Politically Correct Breakfast?

The mixed-race straight couple gets more fiber than 

the mixed-race lesbian couple, which doesn't seem right.

Piss & Pee

According to a new medical product commercial, what used to be called "peeing your pants" is now deemed "light bladder leakage" ... which is now referred to as "LBL." 
FYI

Sunday School Style Punctuation

Overheard ...

"No! Don't let them know that. Lemme tell ya how I filled out the census form ... "

Separated at Birth #3

Justin Bieber & Monchichi

Don Jr. is Magic

I love the Celebrity Apprentice. I even like it when the apprentice hopefuls are real people. Here's a short vid I made in honor of Donald Trump Jr. He makes it all worth while.

CLICK to witness the MAGIC of Don Jr.

Tea Bag Stats

My Youtube video about the Tea Party turnout in NYC has gotten a ton of attention and nasty comments with poor grammar. So, here are some facts* about the mysterious Tea Bag people:
- Tea Bags make up 18% of the country.
- Tea Bags have the sign-making skills of 3rd graders.
- 52% of Tea Bags believe that too much is being made of the problems of Black Americans, but deny that Obama has anything to do with their belief.

- 89% are white.

- 36% live in the South.

- 78% own Ed Hardy clothing.

- 39% are Evangelical Christians.

- 58% have a gun in their home.

- 80% have a Bedazzler in their home.

- 50% watch Fox news for Political coverage.

- 0% are gay. 

- 5% don't know it yet.

- 75% are over 45 years of age.

- 99.9% are angry.

*A special thanks to CBS Sunday Morning for providing many of these facts.