Pete's 2012 Timeline

I remember most of what happened in 2011. It was pretty good and very busy. Some ups, some downs, but all in all a good year for reflection and creation and recreation.
So, here's what's on my agenda for 2012 ... thanks for taking the ride! xo PETE

JANUARY 

• Teach Funny Stuff 1 Classes  at The PIT 
• MAD MAN is extended AGAIN for two more performances

FEBRUARY 

• Mount all-new, original material, Delilah Dix show at Ars Nova
• Teach Funny Stuff Level 2 Classes at The PIT
• Develop Moe Rosen's solo show

MARCH

• Rehearsals continue for my solo show "Desperately Seeking the Exit", directed by John Clancy. This will be my first time performing after a 10-year hiatus. Oy!
• Class shows

APRIL

• "Desperately Seeking the Exit" opens in NYC at a small pub for a limited run
• Class shows

MAY

• Begin crowd-sourcing campaign to raise $5,000 for Edinburgh Fringe Festival
• Find publicist and a place to live in Edinburgh
• Teach workshops at Buffalo State College

JUNE

• Prep UK version of "Desperately Seeking the Exit"
• Beach time

JULY

• Teach Instant Improv workshops in Long Lake
• Teach Writing for Performers at the Actor's Centre in London
• Perform "Desperately Seeking the Exit" in Manchester, England at Taurus, presented by Vertigo Theatre

AUGUST

• Perform "Desperately Seeking the Exit" 7 shows a week for 4 weeks at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival

SEPTEMBER

• REST!

Thank You, 2011

As 2011 draws to close, I reflect on the many terrific friends, family and complete strangers who have made me smile throughout the year. 


I thank you all for your support - if you supported me.
I thank you all for your patience - if you had to put up with me.
I thank you all for your ideas - if you shared them with me.
I thank you all for your recommendations - if you gave them to me.
I thank you all for your encouragement - if you gave it to me, or anyone else.
I thank you all for your advice - if you gave it, or even if you kept it to yourself.


I thank you all for you being you - and for letting me be me.


And by "all", I mean everyone - except that one guy and that other chick.


Here's to a bright, shiny 2012, packed with new adventures, new creativity, new friends, and yes, lots of love.


xo Pete

F*CK YULE

This is a very very naughty song parody. Happy Holidays! xo

Cain Speaks Muppet

I cracked the Herman Cain vocabulary code. Enjoy.

MAD MAN

Hey! Here's a short promo I did for the show I directed. You should see it. Easier than reading a blog.

Gone Fishing

Hello Sole Reader,
My apologies for my lack of posts and blogs these past few weeks. I've had a facelift and adopted 10 children. So, it's been busy to say the least.
I will be back soon with even more exciting observations.
XO Pete

Bono To Play Bonehead

Breaking news! 

Chaz Bono signs to play Chris Christie 

in made-for-DVD movie 

"Dancing As Fast As I Can."

Reading Material at the DMV

I was recently at the DMV Express for over an hour to get a new license. 

This sign caught my eye ...

I am impressed with "THEIR" use of capital letters, even on words like "and" and "the" ... and most curious about why the word "YOUR" is both in caps and in quotes. Would you be completing and signing someone else's application?

Currently accepting explanations from "YOU." Go!

Connor sings Sweet Caroline

This is my pal Connor. He can sing. Enjoy.

Flower Face Off

How do these sunflowers see the sun without any eyes?

Broadway Remembers 9/11?

The Broadway musical Spider-Man: Turn off the Dark placed this ad on the cover of the New York Times on the 

weekend of the terrorist attacks. 

Perhaps they had good intentions, 

but I wouldn't consider this type of promotion "rising above."

Here are some similar ads from current and past shows

that were rejected as being "tasteless"

Products of America

I'm thinking of having a wine product 

and cheese product party...

 

Will you attend?

Got a Crazy Landlord?

It's not too late to get one.

Animals Escape!

First that pesky peacock escaped from the Central Park Zoo. Now, animals all over the city are trying to break out. 

As evidenced here on 30th Street.

Read My Lips

Nice to see their bringing back "live" Karaoke. 

That lip sync stuff is so dull.

Honey, I'm Gonna Row the Lawn

Funny, there's a river just a few feet away.

Different strokes ...

Drinking in Public

In Rome, they have beautiful public drinking fountains 

that have stood the test of time.

In New York City, we take what we can get.

Hide Your Nuts

I caught the squirrel in the act. 

Hiding his nuts in my fire-escape flower garden.

Which is now dead.

And pretty soon ...

Little squirrel will be dead, too. 

Winter is a bitch when you got no nuts.

Mr Jaws 2011

I made this for you. Swim safe.

To Smoke or Not to Smoke

"Smoking Kills"

(Italian)

"Smoking causes ageing of the skin"

(British)

Italians say, "AAAAAAAYYY"

Leather jacket not included

Models Do Eat!

Granted, the portion is the size of a pencil, 

but we are what we eat, aren't we?

Park It!

This parking lot offers fairly reasonable prices 

to park your bike.

This pole next to the lot offers VERY reasonable prices 

to park your bike.

 

Rocket Fuel

Although it looks like the control room at NASA, 

it's actually a Starbucks.

Remember when having a cup of coffee was so simple? 

Me neither.

Better Business?

Alter This

Would you trust these people with your pants?

SUPERBAD

A brief conversation with my building's Superintendent

Me: Did you get the note I slipped under your door Monday?

Super: No.

Me: I paged you Tuesday. Did you get it?

Super: No.

Me: I paged you yesterday. Did you get that?

Super: No.

Me: I left you a voice mail. Did you get that?

Super: No.

Me: Did you get the generous Christmas bonus I left for you in December?

Super: No.

Me: Precisely.

Slippery Nipple

This photo plastered to the double doors of the 

Broadway show "Baby It's You!" caught my eye ...

And I have to wonder if actress Beth Leavel 

is happy with the world knowing she has an "outie."

Dancing on the Ceiling Fan

I installed a ceiling fan in my bedroom to help ease the oppressive heat during the summer months. While it may circulate the air and cool the room, it was also making a clicking sound that made me feel I was sleeping under a clock factory. I had to take action. I tried WD-40. I tried sleeping on the couch. I tried earplugs. 
Finally, I tried wedging my little doggie doorstop between the top of the fan and the ceiling. Voila! No more noise!

As for aesthetics, I'm not so sure. 

Red really isn't a good color for my bedroom.

Bread Line

In the Old Days, poor folks lined up for hours to get free bread. 

Nowadays, poor folks line up for hours to get $5 donuts.

Farmed Out

A mindless and annoying social media game becomes a dessert.

I blame my single friends.

Brief Encounter of the Small World Kind

In December, I treated my parents to the Broadway show "Brief Encounter." We hailed a cab near Penn Station and as we sat in traffic I started a conversation with our spirited and seasoned cab driver.
Somehow, the word Buffalo came up. Turns out, our driver was from Buffalo and did some acting there at Studio Arena and other local venues. I told him that I went to school in Buffalo and visited yearly. He told us about his old performing days and his role in Spike Lee's "Malcom X." Funny, I knew ole' Spike from my stint as John Dean in "She Hate Me."
He was impressed that I was in show biz and he mentioned that his daughter was also in show biz, and that when he wasn't driving a cab, he did some writing. I told him that I coached writers and enjoyed doing script coverage and that he should send me his stuff to look at. We chatted some more as we sat in traffic and when he dropped us off at the theater we exchanged business cards. I was delighted that my parents got to experience a real NY city cab driver with a great story.
A few days later, I got an email from him thanking me for my interest and that he would send me some writing to look at if I was still interested. I wrote back immediately, taking him up on his offer. And that was the end of that. Three months went by.
Earlier this week, my mom randomly asked me if I'd ever heard from that "nice cab driver from Buffalo" and I told her that I had written back to him in December but that was as far as it went. I was impressed that my mom cared so much, but that was no surprise. She's a people person. God bless her.
Last night, I got a voice mail from someone who said, "Hello Peter Michael Marino. I am gonna blow your mind. Call me back at this number and ask for Larry."
Okay. Either this was a crazy person who was going to tell me he was hiding in my bedroom closet and would soon be chopping off my limbs with a machete, or it could be an old college pal. Or both. Naturally, I called "Larry" back.
He answered the phone and I told him my name. He said, "Oh! Peter! Do you remember me? This is Larry!"
I said, "I'm not sure. How would I know you?"
He said, "Hold on. Are you ready? This is gonna blow your mind."
Here's the part where I kept an eye on the bedroom closet door.
A young woman gets on the phone. "Peter? This is Jill. We did the show Runaways together in '86 at Buffalo University."

Here's JILL!

WHAAAA?
She continued, "I was visiting my father and I saw your card on his desk and I asked him why he had your card and how he knew you. He wasn't really sure, he's in his 70's, but he figured he got your card at some event. So how do you know him?"
Now, I haven't seen Jill since running into her at the bank about 5 years ago, but I remembered everything about her and the fun show we did together.
"Jill, your dad is a taxi driver, right?"
"Yes, he is. How did you know that?"
"Well, he drove my family to a show in December and we started talking and I gave him my card in case he wanted me to look at his writing."
"Wow! Small world." 
So now, Jill and I are talking about college and the old days and within minutes we became Facebook friends and she made requests to many of the other folks in the show that I am still friends with. Connecting!


Who would have thought that our brief encounter with a cabbie would lead to a reunion of old college pals? I suppose it's just another great "New York story" - proving that we are all connected on this tiny planet. Every random event is tied to another event. The world is smaller than we think. And everything does indeed go back to college ... or Buffalo.

Boots are Made for Walkin'

And that's just what they'll do.

Passover Perk!

ON SALE EVERYWHERE TODAY
(and yes, it is gluten free)

Making a Lamp Out of String

I saw this lamp in West Elm that I wanted for the ceiling over the corner of my "L" shaped couch. I just didn't want to pay $80 for it. So, I decided to make my own using this stuff:
20" beach ball from Kmart
2 packs of Gardening Twine
3 bottles of Elmer's Glue

Cornstarch

Light Kit from West Elm

Total cost: $48

Place the ball on a plastic sheet on a plastic bowl so it doesn't roll around. Use a marker to make a circle with a bowl. Leave that part bare. Dip some string in a mixture of glue, a pinch of cornstarch, and a dab of water. Start at the top and make shapes and patterns. I decided to do a circular thing.

Keep on going. Let it dry. Turn the ball over and do the same on the other side. That circle should be bigger so you can fit your hand in it.

Then, start filling in the sides. Let it dry and keep patting it down so it takes the shape of the ball. Then, I had this:

I popped the ball and took it out. I got a pendant kit from West Elm and attached it using the wire from an old Chinese tissue paper shade. It looks like this.

And it even looks good close up. But, I might have to spray paint it ... red.

Kmart Q & A

All I wanted was check out a few items at the local Kmart. After waiting in line forever, I finally made it to one of the two cashiers. I placed my items on the counter and the cashier asks:
"Did you find everything you were looking for?"
"No."
"Would you like to make a donation to the Red Cross?"
"No."
"Do you have a Kmart rewards card?"
"No."
"Would you like a Kmart rewards card?"
"No."
"Would you like to give us your birthdate?"
"No."
"Can I have your zip code?"
"No."
"Would you like a bag for that 20" beach ball?"
"Yes. Yes, I would."

Razzle Snoozle

The Tony™ Awards Committee just 

revealed their 2011 logo:

Although not exactly a winner, it's a step up from

 last year's summer camp design.

The Tony Awards  

Underwhelming America since 1947

The Last Word

St. Matthias School

If you look at any of my elementary school report cards from St. Matthias in Queens, the comment that comes up without fail is: "Peter is a wonderful student, but he always has to have the last word."
Having the "last word" in Catholic School is nearly impossible. Actually, speaking in class at all is a major sin. But, year after year, the nuns commented on how much I talked. I questioned everything (like the creation of Adam & Eve and the source of Root Beer). I answered back, and I wouldn't take no for an answer. Show and Tell was my favorite subject. Nap time was an impossibility.
If the nuns only knew that I went on to make my living by speaking -- hawking beers, bands, banks and perfumes. This is important stuff, people!
I recently noticed on my Facebook posts that the threads I start are often quite long. Folks like to jump on my silly bandwagon. I enjoy conversation, even if it's typed. And if you read way down to the last comment -- it's always mine. Always.
Which I blame on the nuns. If they whacked me on my knuckles with a ruler in the name of Jesus more often, my Facebook posts would end sooner ... and I'd be flat broke.
Comments?