11.24.2010

Happy National Opt-Out Day!

Get ready for long lines and irate carnivores! 
     Brian Sodegren started this insane National Opt-Out Day movement saying, ""The goal of National Opt-Out Day is to send a message to our lawmakers that we demand change. No naked body scanners, no government-approved groping. We have a right to privacy and buying a plane ticket should not mean that we're guilty until proven innocent."
     Not surprisingly, Mr. Sodegren, who's rumored to have a disaster films fetish, a miniscule penis and a history of sexual abuse isn't even flying during the holiday. 
     Thanks to Brian, and the bomb-loving idiots who are protesting with this couch potato, the rest of us law-abiding citizens will be arriving late to Grandma's house and eating over-cooked turkey at midnight. 
     Here's hoping Mr. Sodegren's plan makes this Thanksgiving "the bomb."

11.11.2010

Hand Job

The local deli installed this handy device ...
It's so complimentary ...
It's robo-voice told me "You have lovely, well-maintained cuticles, Mr. Marino, and you are very handsome."

11.04.2010

"Things" on sale!

Just in time for that special someone 
who asked Santa for "THINGS" for Christmas.

11.03.2010

Expectations

My therapist suggested 
I lower my expectations, 
so I suggested 
she lower my co-pay.

Doggie in the Window

So, do I get paid a whopping $2,495.00 for this fugly creature to come home with me and slobber all over my couch? Or is that how much I have to pay? Cause, I can get slobbering on my couch for free after a couple of shots of tequila and a good pick-up line.

11.01.2010

Apologies

Hello Loyal Reader,
I'm so sorry that I haven't blogged in a few weeks. I was very busy working on a brand new show that only my closest friends and family came to see. I will be back soon with even more average observations and sub-standard photos.
xo Blackout Pete