Todays Household Tip

The mirrors will not get sparkly clean if you spray them with the  tub and tile cleaner that comes in the exact same packaging. 
Even if you use newspaper instead of paper towel.

Picture This

I took a picture of this collection of oddities I came upon in the Gallery district of Chelsea.
The box you see is a game called "How to Host Your Own Murder Party."

I still can't make any sense of it. But I know I won't be parking there.

Today's Proverb

Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. 
Teach a man to fish and he says, "Ewww ... worms."

Cocoa Bean

I woke up at 4 AM craving a sip of sweet chocolate soy milk. So, I grabbed the container out of the fridge, poured a cold glass, and gulped it down ...

      

... until I realized I was actually drinking a cold glass of spicy black bean soup.

At least it was organic.

Muppet Oscar Noms

Who will receive the coveted Oscar?

AVATAR

THE BLINDSIDE

DISTRICT 9 

PRECIOUS: BASED ON THE NOVEL 'PUSH' BY SAPPHIRE 

THE HURT LOCKER 

AN EDUCATION

INGLORIOUS BASTERDS

A SERIOUS MAN

UP

UP IN THE AIR

MAY THE BEST MUPPET WIN!

Flip Your Lid

Best. Lid. Ever.

History Repeating

The band Green Day has a musical! 

Another show with smoke and fire escape settings featuring disillusioned young people in rags and plaids wailing at the audience while pumping their fists in the air and standing in solidarity with legs apart and feet firmly planted except for that one heel that pumps to the angry beat.

Come What May

Hence, an individual "may" jump the turnstile.

Really good warning, MTA.

Today's Memo

Attention all commercial and sitcom writers ...
I hereby put a moratorium on the use of the following phrases:
"That's just wrong" and "Little help here?"

Quote Unquote

If you're going to use the inspirational quote of a famous philosopher, bible contributor, or celebrity on your Facebook status, please do me the favor of using quotes at the beginning of the phrase so I'll know that I don't have to actually read it.
"Thanks" - Peter Michael Marino