Poor Wicked

The Broadway show "Wicked" has been running for over 6 years! It's playing all over the world. For some reason, the producers decided that the show needed a little bit more publicity, so they covered every square inch of Penn Station with "Wicked" propaganda ...

Yet, they can't afford to change the signs at the Gershwin Theater which still touts this monster as a new musical!

Poor, poor Wicked.

Chains of ...

Here is a chained dog in Chelsea who just wants some McDonald's coffee ...

Here are a group of children in Chelsea who just want to run free ...

No Pants

Yesterday I was among the thousands of participants in Improv Everywhere's 9th annual No Pants Subway Ride event.
I was wonderful fun and I suggest everyone do it next year. No matter how cold it is or how fat your ass is or how white your gams are.
www.improveverywhere.com

Herding

Yesterday I saw a family of five entering Macy's. They were all wearing cowboy hats. They could just as well have been wearing T-shirts that said, "Steal from us! We're from the Prairie!"
I thought it was a bit cold to be wearing 10-gallon suede hats instead of wool winter caps, but they made me laugh and they were contributing to the citys' economy.
Ironically, I passed a cheap diner in midtown about 8 hours later, and who was sitting there in the window eating their diner dinner? The Cowboy Hat Family ... still wearing their hats.
Indoors.

Dunker

Yesterday, a middle-aged woman was standing on the #2 train, putting one whole Oreo after another into her mouth while taking a swig of milk from a quart she was holding after each tasty treat entered her gaping trough.
Who needs a glass to dunk?

Just Like Obama

So, yesterday, the Weatherproof coat company put up this big ad in Times Square of President Obama wearing one of their lovely coats ...

... and the New York Times reported that the Obama administration had not approved the use of the image. A spokesman for the Prez said, “The White House has a longstanding policy disapproving of the use of the president’s name and likeness for commercial purposes.”


So that would explain this ...

and this ...

and even this ...

HAIR!

Last night I saw the show "HAIR." 
Well ... actually I tried to see the show "Brief Encounter" at St. Ann's Warehouse, but this dumb blonde gal in front of me felt it was really important to play with and readjust her long ponytail during most of the show, popping it up and down and fluffing it and primping it hither and yon. So, it was hard to actually see the show I paid to see.
I wished I had an inkwell. 
I would have turned her blonde locks blue.

Gimme o2

I just saw on the women's and gay men's network, Oxygen, that they've added Law&Order:Criminal Intent to their line-up. 
I guess women and gay men really love that show -- what with all the rapes and beatings.
Wait! What the hell am I doing watching Oxygen?!

Better off Dead

I like this show called "Bridezillas." It shows various low-class brides-to-be throwing tantrums, flowers and bridal party members all over over the place. The wedding has to be their way or the highway. It makes you wonder about the grooms. How desperate do these suckers have to be to marry these insane witches?


I propose a show called "Funeralzillas", where soon-to-be dead people throw fits over how deep their coffin is to be buried, what boring flower arrangements will be at the wake, and what shitty songs are played at the funeral home.


Now, that would be fun.

Smell It

The crackers went bad. I could tell as soon as I opened the box. As Rachel Ray says, "Oil spoils" and these crackers tasted and smelled like spoiled oil. So, I brought the box back to the local Gristedes.
The cashier called the manager over.
"What seems to be the problem?", he barked.
"These are bad. Spoiled."
"How d'ya know? Did you try 'em?"
I opened the box and said, "Here. Smell it."
He sniffed ... and gagged.
I got another box off the shelf and said, "Let me just open this here before I leave to make sure they're okay."
It smelled a bit weird. I gave the box to the manager and said, "Try one."
He says, "What? Why don't you try one?"
I said, "Cause your the manager."
He says, "Yeah, but I'm also a human being!"


Doubtful.