Signs all Around

While traveling on the Airtrain, I was not surprised to see that smoking is not permitted ... but, neither is consuming burgers and shakes.





So, I assume it's OK to eat chicken and drink coffee while commuting to the airport?

Those Crazy Kids

Today, while driving in Buffalo, I passed a college with a sign outside that read:


"Welcome Freshman Parents!"


It must be so challenging to be a freshman and a parent these days.

Gallantry is Dead

Today, I saw a long-leggy blonde in a little black mini making her sexy way down my street. As she approached three young men leaning against a brick wall, I knew what was coming ...
"Hey babe. You lookin' goooood!"
"I'd like summa that."
"Fine, fine, damn your fine, girl. C'mere a minute."


She kept strutting in her 5" heels, without looking back. Sauntering past her, I muttered, "I apologize -- on behalf of all the decent males in the city."


Without even looking at me, she purrs, "Get it all time. Don't mind. Ciao."


So much for my gallant effort. 

Choices

Hmmm ... what to buy? DVD's, VIDEOS, PEEP SHOWS ... 

or LINGERIES? 

This store has it all.

Optimist

This dude walks into the deli and cheerfully says to the man at the counter, "I'll take three hundred twenty five million dollars, please."

And, without missing a beat, the man simply prints out a lottery ticket.

Must've been the sign outside ...

Slip 'em a Mickey

This must be the lamest Mickey Mouse ever. I mean, how often do you see a 6' mouse hugging little girls with his tongue hanging out? Very inappropriate.

The Lost Ones

So many Highways go un-adopted year after year. And I feel for them.

Won't you please take a moment to consider adopting a lovely, smart, young highway in your fair city?

Postal

Seen outside the Post Office on 8th Avenue on a really hot day

... I guess it's one column per customer!

Say Uncle

This group of 50-somethings stood on the corner of 30th and 8th, sheets of paper in their hands, heads darting around in all directions.

One gentleman points to the paper, "It says it's on 31st and 8th!"

His wife says, "Well, where the heck is it then?"

Guy says, "I dunno. It should be here."

I say, "Need help?"

"Yeah. We're looking for the Greek place on 31st and 8th."

I point, "Uncle Nicks. Right there on 31st and 8th."

Lady says, incredulously, "How did you know that?"

"Well, this is 30th and 8th and the next block up is 31st and 8th. So it just makes sense." 

Which it does, if you can count.

Which Way

So, is it: "FOLLOW JESUS, PASS DANGER"?

Or is it: "FOLLOW PASS, JESUS DANGER"?