Deaf Dumb Blind

I find myself listening to my ipod an awful lot lately ... mostly to block out the often annoying sounds of the city and those young people with clipboards who ask you to sign some kind of "Save the Children" form every few blocks. 

But, last week, no less than 6 people stopped me to ask a me dumb question even though I clearly had music playing in my ears. You know, the place you hear from? 

I'm considering getting the old ghetto-style earphones that cover half your head. Maybe that will give me some solitude.

Spare a Dime?

Last night, I was attempting to enter the local bodega, when a beggar blocked my way by simply standing in front of the door while holding out an empty coffee cup. I stared at him. He stared back.

I asked, "... yes?", and he held the empty cup higher. We stared some more. I finally said, "You know, it's called 'work' for a reason. You have to do something." 

He stared back at me, and I decided to go to another bodega.

Show Offs

Alot of people go skiing this time of year. And they like to let us all know they are part of this exclusive  group by keeping the lift passes pinned to their coats long after they are back on the ground. 

Hey fancy folks, do you keep the baggage tickets on your baggage from trip to trip? Do you still wear your medal from the 5th grade science fair? Do you wear your MOMA admission button all year long, too?

Line Up

The Whole Foods in Chelsea is always busy. They have different lines to check out. One of them is 3 lanes wide, and moves quickly. The other is an "express" line for 5 items or less. Even if there is one person in the 3-lane check out line, folks will line up 20-deep in the "express" line ... just to check out quicker. Which they don't.

Game?

I bought a soda at the local Subway sandwich shop. As I waited for the cashier to get off her cell phone, I watched an elderly foreign couple unroll a fabric chess board and set up their pawns. 

When I walked by one hour later, the were still playing. And the cashier was still on her phone.

Hungry after one hour

The Chinese food delivery man rode his battered bike back to the restaurant late in the night, enjoying the warm smoke of his cigarette, like he had just had sex. 

Perhaps, delivering that last order of Chicken Chow Mein on a cold NYC night is like having sex. And boy is that cigarette good.

Doctor, doctor

Why does it take a pharmacist over 30 minutes to fill up a little bottle with 50 powder blue pills? And why do they always have to be raised up on a "stage", hovering over us sick patients like we were on trial?

Notable

Here is an excellent quote from Julia Child:

"Don't apologize. No one knows what you were aiming for."

Up Chuck

I walked passed a young mom, chatting on her cell phone while pushing a stroller. She had no idea her baby was throwing up. I thought it was funny.