Security?

I had to replace my old Social Security card today. I went to the SS office in mid-town. The floors are purple. The walls are pink. The chairs are chained together. You cannot eat or drink or use your cell phone. You cannot STAND. You MUST sit. People didn't hear their number being called (like they do at the butcher). Most of them didn't speak English or had their headphones on. Then they would complain. A baby cried the whole time. I waited for over an hour. I feel so secure.

No Taste

I peered thru the window of my neighborhood Subway sandwich joint early this morning, and saw a young man pouring ketchup on his pizza. 

Why would anyone get pizza from a sandwich shop? 

Patience

I can't stand the meatballs who hover over the machine I am working out on at the gym. They just hover and hover, waiting for me to finish. Like, how long will I really be there on that machine? Five minutes tops? Calm down. Get some water. Use another machine. Go away, meatball.

Decisions, decisions

As the elections draw nearer, there are still voters who are "undecided." I think these people are like bisexuals. And I just don't get it.

Good Mom

I was happy to see a young mom on the subway telling her young son to sit with his legs closed. Too bad the dude next to them didn't have such a good mom.

Smokeout

How can doctors and nurses smoke cigarettes right outside the hospital they work in? It doesn't make me want to quit, that's for sure.

Back Back

Passengers exiting a bus should exit out the back door. This way, passengers getting on the bus can do just that. 

Nose Knows

At my local Kmart, the shelves are lined with various candles that smell like popular candies. Why would anyone want their home to smell like something that gives you cavities?

Why does the phrase "I'm out of my comfort zone" make me so very uncomfortable?

Cop Hat

A cop was standing outside my local Subway holding his cop hat upside down in his hand. Inside his hat, protected under a plastic sheet, was a mug-shot of a young thug. In the old days, they had mug-shots posted at the Post Office. Times change.

Poop

During the intermission of a show I saw this week, I went to the mens room to take a leak. There were two men in the stalls clearly taking dumps. They couldn't wait until they got home?

Dog-gone

What are the odds of seeing THREE different three-legged dogs in two days? Apparently the odds are quite high. I don't need to see any more.

 

Art/Life

Today I saw a homeless man pushing his little cart through the streets of Chelsea. He was wearing a Les Miserables T-shirt.