Blackout Pete

Pete's 2012 Timeline

2011-12-31T09:36:00.009-05:00

I remember most of what happened in 2011. It was pretty good and very busy. Some ups, some downs, but all in all a good year for reflection and creation and recreation.
So, here's what's on my agenda for 2012 ... thanks for taking the ride! xo PETE

JANUARY

Teach Funny Stuff 1 Classes at The PIT
MAD MAN is extended AGAIN for two more performances

FEBRUARY

Mount all-new, original material, Delilah Dix show at Ars Nova
Teach Funny Stuff Level 2 Classes at The PIT
Develop Moe Rosen's solo show

MARCH

Rehearsals continue for my solo show "Desperately Seeking the Exit", directed by John Clancy. This will be my first time performing after a 10-year hiatus. Oy!
Class shows

APRIL

"Desperately Seeking the Exit" opens in NYC at a small pub for a limited run
Class shows

MAY

Begin crowd-sourcing campaign to raise $5,000 for Edinburgh Fringe Festival
Find publicist and a place to live in Edinburgh
Teach workshops at Buffalo State College

JUNE

Prep UK version of "Desperately Seeking the Exit"
Beach time

JULY

Teach Instant Improv workshops in Long Lake
Teach Writing for Performers at the Actor's Centre in London
Perform "Desperately Seeking the Exit" in Manchester, England at Taurus, presented by Vertigo Theatre

AUGUST

Perform "Desperately Seeking the Exit" 7 shows a week for 4 weeks at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival

SEPTEMBER

REST!

Thank You, 2011

2011-12-23T12:03:00.000-05:00

As 2011 draws to close, I reflect on the many terrific friends, family and complete strangers who have made me smile throughout the year.

I thank you all for your support - if you supported me.
I thank you all for your patience - if you had to put up with me.
I thank you all for your ideas - if you shared them with me.
I thank you all for your recommendations - if you gave them to me.
I thank you all for your encouragement - if you gave it to me, or anyone else.
I thank you all for your advice - if you gave it, or even if you kept it to yourself.

I thank you all for you being you - and for letting me be me.

And by "all", I mean everyone - except that one guy and that other chick.

Here's to a bright, shiny 2012, packed with new adventures, new creativity, new friends, and yes, lots of love.

xo Pete

F*CK YULE

2011-12-06T09:42:00.000-05:00

This is a very very naughty song parody. Happy Holidays! xo

Cain Speaks Muppet

2011-11-23T09:47:00.000-05:00

I cracked the Herman Cain vocabulary code. Enjoy.

MAD MAN

2011-11-01T15:52:00.000-04:00

Hey! Here's a short promo I did for the show I directed. You should see it. Easier than reading a blog.

Gone Fishing

2011-11-01T10:02:00.000-04:00

Hello Sole Reader,
My apologies for my lack of posts and blogs these past few weeks. I've had a facelift and adopted 10 children. So, it's been busy to say the least.
I will be back soon with even more exciting observations.
XO Pete

Bono To Play Bonehead

2011-10-04T09:01:00.000-04:00

Breaking news!

Chaz Bono signs to play Chris Christie

in made-for-DVD movie

"Dancing As Fast As I Can."

Reading Material at the DMV

2011-09-26T13:22:00.000-04:00

I was recently at the DMV Express for over an hour to get a new license.

This sign caught my eye ...

I am impressed with "THEIR" use of capital letters, even on words like "and" and "the" ... and most curious about why the word "YOUR" is both in caps and in quotes. Would you be completing and signing someone else's application?

Currently accepting explanations from "YOU." Go!

Connor sings Sweet Caroline

2011-09-19T10:54:00.000-04:00

This is my pal Connor. He can sing. Enjoy.

Flower Face Off

2011-09-16T10:01:00.000-04:00

How do these sunflowers see the sun without any eyes?

Broadway Remembers 9/11?

2011-09-09T08:46:00.006-04:00

The Broadway musical Spider-Man: Turn off the Dark placed this ad on the cover of the New York Times on the

weekend of the terrorist attacks.

Perhaps they had good intentions,

but I wouldn't consider this type of promotion "rising above."

Here are some similar ads from current and past shows

that were rejected as being "tasteless"

Products of America

2011-09-08T10:15:00.000-04:00

I'm thinking of having a wine product

and cheese product party...

Will you attend?

Got a Crazy Landlord?

2011-08-17T11:40:00.000-04:00

It's not too late to get one.

Animals Escape!

2011-08-08T08:33:00.000-04:00

First that pesky peacock escaped from the Central Park Zoo. Now, animals all over the city are trying to break out.

As evidenced here on 30th Street.

Read My Lips

2011-08-05T10:17:00.000-04:00

Nice to see their bringing back "live" Karaoke.

That lip sync stuff is so dull.

Honey, I'm Gonna Row the Lawn

2011-08-04T10:51:00.000-04:00

Funny, there's a river just a few feet away.

Different strokes ...

Drinking in Public

2011-08-02T09:35:00.000-04:00

In Rome, they have beautiful public drinking fountains

that have stood the test of time.

In New York City, we take what we can get.

Hide Your Nuts

2011-08-01T08:44:00.000-04:00

I caught the squirrel in the act.

Hiding his nuts in my fire-escape flower garden.

Which is now dead.

And pretty soon ...

Little squirrel will be dead, too.

Winter is a bitch when you got no nuts.

Mr Jaws 2011

2011-07-28T13:00:00.000-04:00

I made this for you. Swim safe.

To Smoke or Not to Smoke

2011-07-17T17:26:00.000-04:00

"Smoking Kills"

(Italian)

"Smoking causes ageing of the skin"

(British)

Italians say, "AAAAAAAYYY"

2011-07-14T07:51:00.000-04:00

Leather jacket not included

Models Do Eat!

2011-07-01T05:55:00.000-04:00

Granted, the portion is the size of a pencil,

but we are what we eat, aren't we?

Park It!

2011-06-16T12:09:00.000-04:00

This parking lot offers fairly reasonable prices

to park your bike.

This pole next to the lot offers VERY reasonable prices

to park your bike.

Rocket Fuel

2011-06-14T09:42:00.000-04:00

Although it looks like the control room at NASA,

it's actually a Starbucks.

Remember when having a cup of coffee was so simple?

Me neither.

Better Business?

2011-06-07T11:56:00.000-04:00

Alter This

2011-06-02T08:18:00.001-04:00

Would you trust these people with your pants?

SUPERBAD

2011-05-12T10:58:00.000-04:00

A brief conversation with my building's Superintendent

Me: Did you get the note I slipped under your door Monday?

Super: No.

Me: I paged you Tuesday. Did you get it?

Super: No.

Me: I paged you yesterday. Did you get that?

Super: No.

Me: I left you a voice mail. Did you get that?

Super: No.

Me: Did you get the generous Christmas bonus I left for you in December?

Super: No.

Me: Precisely.

Slippery Nipple

2011-05-11T16:38:00.000-04:00

This photo plastered to the double doors of the

Broadway show "Baby It's You!" caught my eye ...

And I have to wonder if actress Beth Leavel

is happy with the world knowing she has an "outie."

Dancing on the Ceiling Fan

2011-05-05T10:23:00.000-04:00

I installed a ceiling fan in my bedroom to help ease the oppressive heat during the summer months. While it may circulate the air and cool the room, it was also making a clicking sound that made me feel I was sleeping under a clock factory. I had to take action. I tried WD-40. I tried sleeping on the couch. I tried earplugs.
Finally, I tried wedging my little doggie doorstop between the top of the fan and the ceiling. Voila! No more noise!

As for aesthetics, I'm not so sure.

Red really isn't a good color for my bedroom.

Bread Line

2011-05-02T09:36:00.000-04:00

In the Old Days, poor folks lined up for hours to get free bread.

Nowadays, poor folks line up for hours to get $5 donuts.

Farmed Out

2011-04-26T08:11:00.000-04:00

A mindless and annoying social media game becomes a dessert.

I blame my single friends.

Brief Encounter of the Small World Kind

2011-04-22T11:19:00.013-04:00

In December, I treated my parents to the Broadway show "Brief Encounter." We hailed a cab near Penn Station and as we sat in traffic I started a conversation with our spirited and seasoned cab driver.
Somehow, the word Buffalo came up. Turns out, our driver was from Buffalo and did some acting there at Studio Arena and other local venues. I told him that I went to school in Buffalo and visited yearly. He told us about his old performing days and his role in Spike Lee's "Malcom X." Funny, I knew ole' Spike from my stint as John Dean in "She Hate Me."
He was impressed that I was in show biz and he mentioned that his daughter was also in show biz, and that when he wasn't driving a cab, he did some writing. I told him that I coached writers and enjoyed doing script coverage and that he should send me his stuff to look at. We chatted some more as we sat in traffic and when he dropped us off at the theater we exchanged business cards. I was delighted that my parents got to experience a real NY city cab driver with a great story.
A few days later, I got an email from him thanking me for my interest and that he would send me some writing to look at if I was still interested. I wrote back immediately, taking him up on his offer. And that was the end of that. Three months went by.
Earlier this week, my mom randomly asked me if I'd ever heard from that "nice cab driver from Buffalo" and I told her that I had written back to him in December but that was as far as it went. I was impressed that my mom cared so much, but that was no surprise. She's a people person. God bless her.
Last night, I got a voice mail from someone who said, "Hello Peter Michael Marino. I am gonna blow your mind. Call me back at this number and ask for Larry."
Okay. Either this was a crazy person who was going to tell me he was hiding in my bedroom closet and would soon be chopping off my limbs with a machete, or it could be an old college pal. Or both. Naturally, I called "Larry" back.
He answered the phone and I told him my name. He said, "Oh! Peter! Do you remember me? This is Larry!"
I said, "I'm not sure. How would I know you?"
He said, "Hold on. Are you ready? This is gonna blow your mind."
Here's the part where I kept an eye on the bedroom closet door.
A young woman gets on the phone. "Peter? This is Jill. We did the show Runaways together in '86 at Buffalo University."

Here's JILL!

WHAAAA?
She continued, "I was visiting my father and I saw your card on his desk and I asked him why he had your card and how he knew you. He wasn't really sure, he's in his 70's, but he figured he got your card at some event. So how do you know him?"
Now, I haven't seen Jill since running into her at the bank about 5 years ago, but I remembered everything about her and the fun show we did together.
"Jill, your dad is a taxi driver, right?"
"Yes, he is. How did you know that?"
"Well, he drove my family to a show in December and we started talking and I gave him my card in case he wanted me to look at his writing."
"Wow! Small world."
So now, Jill and I are talking about college and the old days and within minutes we became Facebook friends and she made requests to many of the other folks in the show that I am still friends with. Connecting!

Who would have thought that our brief encounter with a cabbie would lead to a reunion of old college pals? I suppose it's just another great "New York story" - proving that we are all connected on this tiny planet. Every random event is tied to another event. The world is smaller than we think. And everything does indeed go back to college ... or Buffalo.

Boots are Made for Walkin'

2011-04-20T08:38:00.000-04:00

And that's just what they'll do.

Passover Perk!

2011-04-18T23:29:00.002-04:00

ON SALE EVERYWHERE TODAY
(and yes, it is gluten free)

Making a Lamp Out of String

2011-04-17T15:53:00.002-04:00

I saw this lamp in West Elm that I wanted for the ceiling over the corner of my "L" shaped couch. I just didn't want to pay $80 for it. So, I decided to make my own using this stuff:
20" beach ball from Kmart
2 packs of Gardening Twine
3 bottles of Elmer's Glue

Cornstarch

Light Kit from West Elm

Total cost: $48

Place the ball on a plastic sheet on a plastic bowl so it doesn't roll around. Use a marker to make a circle with a bowl. Leave that part bare. Dip some string in a mixture of glue, a pinch of cornstarch, and a dab of water. Start at the top and make shapes and patterns. I decided to do a circular thing.

Keep on going. Let it dry. Turn the ball over and do the same on the other side. That circle should be bigger so you can fit your hand in it.

Then, start filling in the sides. Let it dry and keep patting it down so it takes the shape of the ball. Then, I had this:

I popped the ball and took it out. I got a pendant kit from West Elm and attached it using the wire from an old Chinese tissue paper shade. It looks like this.

And it even looks good close up. But, I might have to spray paint it ... red.

Kmart Q & A

2011-04-15T14:18:00.001-04:00

All I wanted was check out a few items at the local Kmart. After waiting in line forever, I finally made it to one of the two cashiers. I placed my items on the counter and the cashier asks:
"Did you find everything you were looking for?"
"No."
"Would you like to make a donation to the Red Cross?"
"No."
"Do you have a Kmart rewards card?"
"No."
"Would you like a Kmart rewards card?"
"No."
"Would you like to give us your birthdate?"
"No."
"Can I have your zip code?"
"No."
"Would you like a bag for that 20" beach ball?"
"Yes. Yes, I would."

Razzle Snoozle

2011-04-13T08:49:00.000-04:00

The Tony™ Awards Committee just

revealed their 2011 logo:

Although not exactly a winner, it's a step up from

last year's summer camp design.

The Tony Awards

Underwhelming America since 1947

The Last Word

2011-04-12T09:19:00.002-04:00

St. Matthias School

If you look at any of my elementary school report cards from St. Matthias in Queens, the comment that comes up without fail is: "Peter is a wonderful student, but he always has to have the last word."
Having the "last word" in Catholic School is nearly impossible. Actually, speaking in class at all is a major sin. But, year after year, the nuns commented on how much I talked. I questioned everything (like the creation of Adam & Eve and the source of Root Beer). I answered back, and I wouldn't take no for an answer. Show and Tell was my favorite subject. Nap time was an impossibility.
If the nuns only knew that I went on to make my living by speaking -- hawking beers, bands, banks and perfumes. This is important stuff, people!
I recently noticed on my Facebook posts that the threads I start are often quite long. Folks like to jump on my silly bandwagon. I enjoy conversation, even if it's typed. And if you read way down to the last comment -- it's always mine. Always.
Which I blame on the nuns. If they whacked me on my knuckles with a ruler in the name of Jesus more often, my Facebook posts would end sooner ... and I'd be flat broke.
Comments?

A Tourist Line

2011-04-11T07:33:00.001-04:00

Big news on the Great White Way:

No more General Admission!

Starting today, when you purchase a ticket to a Broadway show, you will be assigned an actual seat of your choice. That's right! You no longer need to line up all the way down the block outside the theater for an hour before the show, only to scuffle and search for the best seat in the house. Simply present your pre-paid ticket at the theater, and your pre-assigned seat will be waiting for you.
It's like magic - but real!

Benefits include:

No more fights
You sit where you chose to sit
Less standing = Less knee pain

Spend that newfound spare time walking around and spending your money in our fair-priced city. Your purchases help keep city schools and homeless shelters alive. And, the exercise will help burn off those stubborn calories from your deep-fried meal at TGI Fridays. Plus, you'll have more time to stop in the middle of the sidewalk outside of Red Lobster to take photos, which you can then share with your homebound friends and family in a computer-generated holiday newsletter.
They don't call it the greatest city in the world for nuthin'!

Save It!

2011-04-08T10:45:00.002-04:00

When the curtain comes down after a performance, the creative folks involved usually have only one thing on their mind: a cocktail.
Many theater-goers think it is their civic duty to immediately share their well-honed observations with the talent or director. Yes, getting feedback is vital in the arts. It's what makes us and our shows better. It's not always easy to take, but we try.

However, you can do us all a big favor and wait a day or so to share your keen artistic observations; no matter how passionate you are about them. Especially negative ones that are painfully clear, like, "The sound was bad in that opening number." Trust me, we all know that the sound was bad. We know. We were there. We have ears.
Or "Did you see that guy roaming up and down the aisle?" Yes, we all saw that guy, Sherlock, since we were all in the same theater.
I understand if you're excited to express yourself the way the creatives of the show just did. We want to excite you!
Giving birth to a show is similar to giving birth to a baby. And like a new baby, it takes time, growing pains, alot of money ... and there might be a missing finger or toe. The parents know about those missing digits (assuming they can count to ten) and you don't need to point it out.
The best thing you can do is keep mental notes about what you liked and didn't like, or when the sound didn't work, and then share those thoughts via email or a phone conversation a few days later. Perhaps you will point out something that the creatives didn't realize! That would be great. Then they can fix things. But, not right after the show. All we want to do is breathe, drink, and get hugs.
Support the arts and your friends and their babies. Just try, try, try keeping your opinions to yourself for a day or two. There's a very good chance the artists are on the same page.
Unless it's "Spiderman: Turn Off the Dark." No matter what you say, the creatives and producers will wait 6 months to take any of your suggestions to heart while taking your money, brain cells and time.
Thanks! See you at the next Christening!

Gluten Free Italian at RUBIROSA, NYC

2011-04-06T10:04:00.001-04:00

RUBIROSA
I recently visited the Italian restaurant Rubirosa in Nolita (235 Mulberry St, btwn Prince & Spring) and I have to say, it was one of the best gluten free meals I have ever had in NYC.

The decor is charming, old-world style and the service was fantastic. My friend, Norma Lana and I sat in the back room under a skylight with the kitchen and authentic revolving pizza oven right next to me. It was great to watch the kitchen prepare their delicious meals. There's a lovely bar up front, which you might have to wait at if you don't make a reservation. This place was hoppin' on Friday night. Large wooden tables and great decor all around. It has a very family-friendly vibe and reminded me of being in Italy.

We started with the GF rice balls: creamy and crunchy and filled with mascarpone, prosciutto, and fontina. Scrumptious! And we had a fresh, colorful salad with tiny beets, frisée, and radicchio. Heaven.

We followed up with an authentic, thin crust GF pizza with fresh mozzarella and sausage. It was easy to split this generous portion, and hard to not eat the whole pie! Crunchy, crispy and fresh. The tomato sauce is delicious. And the best part was that the slices could be eaten like REAL pizza ... with your hands. They have many pizza selections and you can even create your own with their list of additions: pepperoni, meatballs, sopressata, eggplant, broccoli rabe, mushrooms, etc.

But we didn't stop there, we followed that up with a hefty serving of GF Chicken Parmigiano which was served with a nice portion of al dente GF pasta. Again, the fresh basil and tomato sauce was to die for. And the chicken parm was outstanding. Large portion, smothered in baked cheese, with a faboo bread crumb coating.

Finally, we finished off our meal with a decadent GF chocolate cake, baked and served in an iron skillet, topped with fresh fruit and ice cream. OMG.

Please take some time to treat yourself to Rubirosa. Great wine list, too! So nice to find a new place that understands our needs and makes it easy to eat. If you see a striking brunette at the host stand, tell her Peter Michael sent you!

PS- Needless to say, I didn't eat the next day, save some leftover pizza. : )

Happy Mealed

2011-04-05T18:29:00.003-04:00

This man, Leroy Comrie, chairs the

Consumer Affairs Committee in NYC.

He is working very hard to ban toys in

fast food meals that are unhealthy

and lead to obese children.

He clearly loves toys more than Santa.

Slip-Flop

2011-04-04T09:25:00.001-04:00

This flip-flop-sporting jock caught my attention at the MTA yesterday.

I didn't know you could play hockey in flip-flops!

Or, that it was appropriate to wear them in the city.

Show Stuff: If ...

2011-03-30T07:57:00.000-04:00

Some simple tips for getting ahead in show biz:

If you are in show biz and you never see shows, see some.

If you are in show biz and you never produce, do it.

If you are in show biz and you never perform, do it.

If you get an invite to a show; respond - even if it's a no.

If you come to a show and you like it, say you like it.

If you come to a show and you hate it, say you like it.

If you come to a show and love it, tell your friends.

If you don't have any friends, get some.

If you want to work with a director, see their show.

If you want work with a writer, read their writing.

If you want to perform at a space, see a show in that space.

If you want to do a one-person show, see a one-person show.

If you want to write a play, see a play.

If you want to write a musical, see a few of them.

If you want to learn something new, take a class.

If you want to create a YouTube video, watch some.

If you want to be expressive, stop talking about it and do it.

If you want to be famous, look elsewhere.

If you have read this far, you are already a smarter person!

F*ck Like Bunnies

2011-03-25T08:23:00.000-04:00

Kmart welcomes the return of Jesus Christ with this lovely display of wasted fur and pastel colors.

Show Biz Not Show Fun

2011-03-24T08:37:00.002-04:00

I'm astounded by folks in show business who don't know what's going on in show business, who then gripe that they have no work and that no one knows who they are. Kids, it is truly a business. And like any good business person, one must take time to read a newspaper or blog or an online magazine every so often and see what's going on in the show biz world. Here are some good ideas ...
Take a look at the ads in the Sunday New York Times. It comes out on Sunday and is cheaper than a Long Island Iced Tea. These ads are often quite large and colorful. They let you know what shows are happening and who is involved. Maybe you will find out that a person you want to work with is involved with a new, exciting project. If you don't like the feel of paper, read the Times online. Once a week.
Take a look at TimeOut New York. They break down events into categories, for easy navigation. For instance, if you are a comic, sketch performer, or improvisor, you can go to the Comedy section and read about upcoming shows. You can see what your peers are up to. You can learn about exciting, affordable venues that you didn't know about. It usually takes about 10-12 minutes.
If you are an actor, you can read the Theater section. The articles are always short and provide information that might come in handy somewhere down the line.
And if you are a singer or musician, get this, they even have a Music section that has big ads to let you know about upcoming gigs, CD reviews and performances.
If you don't like magazines, read it online. Once a week. Preferably when it comes out on Wednesday. The Village Voice also comes out on Wednesday -- and it's free. Take a look at the listings. Read a review or two. And when you are done reading and taking some mental notes on shows that interest you, you can leave it on the train for another artist to enjoy. Sharing is caring.
And try to follow what your friends are doing. Facebook is a wonderful tool to find out what's going on with your fellow artistes. Take a look at their walls every so often, and perhaps even comment or "Like" their status when they are doing a show. Putting up a show is hard work. Maybe you can even see the show. You might be inspired to set a deadline for your own show. You might get some great ideas that you can steal. And best of all, you really can learn just as much at a bad show as a good one! I learned from seeing "Spider-Man" that you should never kill the villain at the end of Act 1! Never knew that.
If you want to be on Broadway, good for you. It's easy to get there. It's easier if you know what shows are casting and which ones are in development and which ones are currently playing. Take a glance at Playbill.com or Theatermania once a week. Shows and job listings are posted every day for all sorts of show biz professionals. And if you auditioned for the show and were sore that you didn't get cast in it, go see it. Maybe you will realize why you didn't get the role after all and you can feel better about yourself.
Did I mention that many of the methods described above are free? They are. Free. Free information that could help you get a lead on a new gig. Information that you could use to see a show and be inspired by it. Information that is vital to any business person. Because it's a business.
And, if you think you can't afford to see any shows, there are many ways to get discount tickets ... but I am going to let you figure that out on your own! Try Google. It is an amazing new tool to get you the info you need.
Break a leg!

Party City

2011-03-22T09:19:00.001-04:00

Last week I was at Party City shopping for "Spring-like" party decorations for the set of a show I'm directing in April. I found a package of over-sized cardboard flowers and butterflies in aisle 1, but since it was pouring rain, I figured I'd just come back and purchase them when the weather was a bit more tolerable.
I went back yesterday, and the perfect package of flowers and butterflies were not there! I looked around; up and down the aisles. No luck.
I cautiously asked a salesgirl for help.
"Hi, I'm looking for those packages of cardboard flowers and butterflies that were on this wall here last week."
"Oh. We moved things around. Let's see. Here! Is this what you were looking for?"
"No. Those are paper Easter eggs."
"How about these?"
"No. Those are tiny bunny stickers. I'm looking for the over-sized cardboard flowers and butterflies. 30 in a pack? They were here last week?"
"Oh! Over here. These?"
"No. Those are window decals of birds."
"Let's look over here. Is this it?"
"No. That's a package of paper bunnies, eggs, and rainbows."
"Oh. Well, I guess we are sold out. Sorry."
I assumed she was right. After all, they were the most awesome, perfect cardboard flowers and butterflies ever. I started to leave the store, and right there by the front door, was a display rack filled with all sorts of flowery napkins, butterfly tablecloths, and the package of flowers and butterflies I was seeking.
I took 2 packs of my product off the rack and walked them over to the salesgirl.
"I found the product. Right there on the rack with the other Spring stuff."
"Oh! Great! I thought you were looking for Easter stuff."
I smiled as hard as I could, and paid for my flowers and butterflies.
This set is gonna be so great.
But now, I am hoping it doesn't look like an Easter show. That would be confusing. Jesus does not rise from the dead at any point in the show.

Fruit at the Bottom

2011-03-21T10:06:00.000-04:00

In case you were wondering ...

What To Wear?

2011-03-16T10:03:00.000-04:00

I was going crazy trying to find something to wear to the opening of the show I'm directing at the Laurie Beechman Theatre on Saturday, March 19 & 26. The show is "Delilah Dix: Showin' My Business" and I knew that I had to represent! Finally, yesterday, I saw my dream outfit in the window of a shop near my apartment. And ... it's on sale. Lucky me! See you at the show. You'll find me.

Young, Gifted & Spidey

2011-03-15T11:35:00.002-04:00

Last night I was among the 100 lucky folks to see The Spidey Project at The PIT, which was a fully-realized one-hour musical based on the Spider-Man character. It was created in 30 days with a $0 budget by a troupe of extremely talented and spirited artists.
Director Justin Moran collaborated with Jon Roufaeal on the story and book, and Doug Katsaros and Adam Podd composed the catchy songs. The cast of 9 played numerous roles and were all pitch-perfect.

How did Spidey fly? Simple. Cardboard cut-outs of buildings held by cast members swayed down and up stage as the limber, athletic, and lovable Travis Nilan "swung" from building to building. The audience went wild. Not just because SPIDEY was flying, but because of the ingenuity and cleverness of the direction.
The "set" consisted of painted cardboard panels that recalled the comics. Peter was bitten by an invisible spider, and we bought it. Villains wore simple masks with logos on their T-shirts. And when Peter finally appeared in his trademark costume, the audience cheered.
Special mention must be made to Ryan Nelson who played the bully FLASH, and sang a hilarious tune about having a date at Chipotle. A news reporter played by Jon Roufaeal kept us up to date on the crimes being stopped by Spidey, and he even had a backstory that kept us cheering for him. Claire Nuemann played BETTY, a secretary with a crush on Peter, with perfect comic timing, and Liz Bachman was utterly enchanting as Peter's love interest, GWEN. The rest of the ensemble dazzled with their clear character choices and smart delivery. At the end of the show, which literally flew by, the crowd leapt to their feet. Together, we rooted for Peter/Spidey and together we experienced a story with a beginning, middle and end. It was magical.
I am not a theatre critic (although I always give my uncensored reviews of every show I see) but, I am a "tenacious" audience member. I love to be in the audience with a group of strangers, having a shared experience. I love the energy of people around me. This is why I don't rent DVD's ... I actually go to the cinema.
As I sat on the steps of the new PIT (no seats available), listening to the chatter of the excited audience, I remembered when New York seemed new and full of possibilities to me. I recalled seeing brilliant improv shows at midnight with packed houses, edgy downtown shows in spaces that one could barely locate (and this was before GPS!), discovering new acts like Kiki & Herb at the Flamingo on the LES, and being totally inspired to create my own stuff. I used cardboard boxes to make sets, old table cloths for backdrops, and Salvation Army finds for costumes. I used every resource possible and made hundreds of phone calls to everyone in my book to personally invite them to see my shows. A show needs an audience!
I am older now. Alot older. And it was a great treat to see the "kids" of today doing the same thing. Creating art out of a response to what's going on in pop culture and using every resource they could find to share their vision with the audience.
As I walked home, smiling, and thinking about my next show at the PIT, I wondered how I would transform the stark (yet functional) space into a suburban backyard with $0. I wondered how I could continue to entertain and bring my artistic dreams to life. And I wondered if it was worth it, now that all of my friends are married, with kids, broke, gone for the weekend, or just not that interested.
As I rounded the corner of 24th and 7th, I came across a pile of garbage with large cardboard pieces strewn about. I took a pause and looked closer, and much to my delight, I found 8 panels with images of flowers and trees that would work perfectly for my backyard set! $0! Magic.
I cannot wait for my next show. I look forward to creating something exciting. I encourage you all to live your dreams. Age is not a factor. Money is not an issue. All you need is a dream and the drive to make those dreams come true.
Dream big. Live large. Love often. Fly.
xo Pete

Dix Takes On Sheen

2011-03-12T11:57:00.000-05:00

Another promo for the show I've been slaving over...NAUGHTY!

Pizzae!

2011-03-07T11:13:00.000-05:00

Comeaing soon to Ninth Aveanue!

Featuring Peppaeroni and Cheease!

Showin' My Business

2011-03-06T10:52:00.000-05:00

I'm directing and developing this show crazy cabaret show with the divine Amy Albert called

"Delilah Dix: Showin' My Business" ... so I made this video to promote it.

I do hope you will come see it on March 19 & 21. You might just pee yourself.

Smoke this, Bloomberg

2011-02-23T11:43:00.000-05:00

In three months, it will be against the law to smoke in public parks and beaches in New York City due to the health risks and Mayor Bloomberg being an asshole. However, law-enforcing horses are free to defecate anywhere they want. Like, in Times Square (see below). Or in Central Park, where cars are permitted to emit their fumes.

I say we smoke that shit!

Buffalo Blog Sequel

2011-02-23T08:53:00.000-05:00

For some reason, I'm particularly fond of this Buffalo sauce ...

even though it's from Texas.

Buffalo Flavored Blog

2011-02-22T10:23:00.002-05:00

When I went to orientation at Buffalo State College in 1983, they provided the anxious future students with a popular Buffalo staple called Buffalo Chicken Wings. I was entranced and recall asking, "What do you do with this white sauce?" The natives laughed. The sauce was just blue cheese dressing and one simply dipped their wing in it to cut back on the hot sauce flavor. Of course!
Wings were invented at the famed Anchor Bar in Buffalo in 1964 when the proprietor needed something quick to make for her college-aged son and his pals. She fried some chicken wings and drowned them in hot sauce. Simple. But, it took a while for this snack to take flight. The first time these delicious treats were even mentioned on national TV was on the Today show in the early 80s.
Since then, the Buffalo Chicken Wing has become a world-wide phenomenon. And Buffalo Flavor is even more popular. Today you can find "Buffalo" flavored everything: chips, tortillas, popcorn, pretzels, pizza, tacos, etc. The major junk-food chains all have a Buffalo burger or wrap. There are hundreds of Buffalo Wild Wings chains across the USA. Nearly every snack now comes in Buffalo flavor.
I've even seen the flavour in UK snacks, but I've never found an establishment that makes the wings. Perhaps I should open a Buffalo Wing Shoppe in London?!
Funny thing is, these Buffalo flavored products don't taste anything like actual buffalo, which is a slightly gamey version of beef and a less gamey version of deer. Nor, do they taste like the city of Buffalo, which would taste like snow. The taste like chicken. Just like frogs' legs.
May I suggest Buffalo Frogs legs? Buffalo flavored Buffalo burgers? Or, better yet - a Buffalo Hot Dog, which is not made from either dog or buffalo, but is certainly hot.
As for the dipping sauce, that's up to you.

Holding Pattern

2011-02-17T16:04:00.002-05:00

Hello sole reader.
Forgive my lack of blogs for the past week. I'm currently in a holding pattern; circling my own life over and over and over. Hence, I am incapable of seeing anything else of interest. Or writing about it. Or mocking it. Or posting pics of it.
I promise to be back soon.
In the meantime, eat veggies. They help you live longer. And we all want that, now don't we?
xo PMM

Spider-Man 1-Minute Good Spin!

2011-02-09T09:05:00.001-05:00

What's fair is fair ...

Spider-Man Reviews in a Minute

2011-02-08T11:22:00.000-05:00

I made a 1-minute video for all of my cherished ADD followers:

Give Me Your Tired ...

2011-02-07T08:48:00.000-05:00

your poor ...

Your huddled masses ...

The wretched refuse ...

... of your teeming shore!

An Itch to Scratch

2011-02-05T08:24:00.001-05:00

The nice, red-haired Indian man at my local deli, who has seen me at least 3-4 times a week for the past 10 years, recently said, "You used to be de incense guy?"

I replied, "The what?"

He asks, "You did de incense cards?"

I said, "I don't know about that. Maybe you have me confused with a salesperson."

He insists, "No. I know it was you. I just realized. You did de incense! Dat is so cool!"

I blinked and stared blankly. After a moment, he pointed to the lottery cards, and I realized he was saying the "Instant Guy."

"Oh," I said, "The instant-scratch off cards. Scratcher Guy for the New York Lottery. Yes."

He squeals, "Yes! Dat was you! Why you not ever play the lottery here?"

I said, "I think it's fixed. And the lines are too long!"

True story.

It might have taken him 12 years to figure it out, but it's always nice to be recognized.

CLICK HERE to see bits of the 1999 commercials, to scratch your itch.

Priscilla: Queen of The Desert Storm

2011-02-04T09:53:00.000-05:00

Come to Broadway ...

Where the drag queens, tourists
and armed soldiers play together!

The Edward Albee Project

2011-02-02T09:41:00.003-05:00

HERE'S THE PLAN:

Call up my buddy Eddie Albee and ask him if he has any old or new plays he's socked away in a drawer. I submit those plays to every regional theater in the United States, with my name as the playwright. I wait 6-12 months and get tons of rejection letters. Then, I re-submit the plays with Edward Albee's name on them, and they all get picked up!

NOTE: I don't actually approve of shows or movies with the word PROJECT in them. And I don't actually know Edward Albee, who has written some great plays like "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" and "A Delicate Balance." He also wrote many weird ones like "The Goat or Who is Sylvia?" and "The Play About the Baby." If you know him, can you run this idea by him? I think he would go for it.

Rachel Maddow is So Cute

2011-02-01T08:25:00.002-05:00

During her winking coverage of the crisis in Egypt, Rachel Maddow thought it would be appropriate to use the following chyrons on her show. Ya know, to really reach people. Great work, Rachel!

Oh! Like the Bangles song from 1986! Timeless.

"Frenemies" Barack and Mubarak. Adorable!

Puppies + Babies Laughing

2011-02-01T07:48:00.000-05:00

Sometimes, we all need a little laugh.

Colorful Bull

2011-01-31T11:35:00.001-05:00

If the noses came in green, I might be interested.

Bad Sign

2011-01-26T08:06:00.001-05:00

I hope the law never makes it a requirement to

shop in a supermarket with a pet.

We All Make Mistakes

2011-01-24T13:40:00.002-05:00

Execpt for me.

Tire Thief

2011-01-19T09:43:00.001-05:00

Duh, you never just lock the tire!

Explains why the other one is missing, I suppose.

The Social Network: Dislike Button

2011-01-18T08:21:00.001-05:00

The Social Network is a popular flick about the guy who created Facebook who doesn't have any friends. Get it?
I finally caught this fictional account of the birth of my favorite diversion on the flight home from London. I'd been putting it off because I simply cannot tolerate Justin Timberlake's curly mop, harelip and lady voice ... and Jessie Eisenberg's curly mop, translucent skin and beady eyes.
But, since it was a 7+ hour flight, and it had won a Golden Shower Award the night before, I buckled up, ordered a G&T and took it on.
After the first 10 minutes, I realized I had actually seen it before when it was called The West Wing. Or was it called A Few Good Men? Or was it Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip? The Farnsworth Invention? I dunno. Seemed like I was visiting an old acquaintance. Yakkity, yakkity, yak.
Same sarcastic, privileged characters who all speak with the same rapid-fire-wise-ass dialogue. Same quips. Same turns of phrase. Same old coked-up Sorkin-speak.
While I always enjoyed David Fincher's Madonna videos, his heavy hand in anything longer than a pop song wears me the hell down. Fight Club? Panic Room? Se7en? It's like he directs films for the blind and deaf.
Did you notice the subtle metaphors? Oh. You must've been updating your status.
Just when the race is on for the Winkelvoss twins to cease Zuckerberg's idea hijacking ... we cut to the twins in their boats, RACING. Get it? THE RACE IS ON.
Just when poor, abused Saverin is trying to stop the out-of-control madness of his business pal, we cut to him trying to literally put out a FIRE. Get it? PUTTING OUT FIRES.
When Timberlake's girly-voiced character turns the workplace into a party zone and the company is clearly getting out of control, the LIGHTS GO OUT. Get it? LIGHTS OUT/PARTY'S OVER.
Heck, when we first meet Sean Parker, the founder of Napster, he is played by a MUSICIAN. Get it? A MUSICIAN PLAYING A MUSIC MOGUL. Hardee har har.
Don't even get me started on Sorkin's quick-talking cameo. I said, don't.
While I do applaud the creators for making a somewhat entertaining movie about young people who type fast and talk about numbers, I will forever be puzzled about why this mythical TV movie is the talk of the Hollywood award season. Just because it's popular, doesn't mean it's good.
And now, I will post this on Facebook.
Get it?

Banish These 6 Words

2011-01-07T10:08:00.000-05:00

"AT THE END OF THE DAY"

Friends and reality stars - I urge you to banish these words from your conversations. They are unnecessary. We get it. You are wrapping up your point. Try finishing your thoughts with a simple period ... or by downing a shot of liquor. Or by storming the barricade.

Candy Man

2011-01-04T14:54:00.001-05:00

(captions accepted)

Bad News Bike Rack

2011-01-03T10:28:00.003-05:00

Saw this lovely display of homeless ingenuity ...

Then I noticed this very official note attached to the shopping cart ...

Some homeless people are such dicks.

Farewell 2010!

2010-12-31T09:39:00.001-05:00

Hello Sole Reader/Stalker,
I've been so busy creating visually stunning and topical viral videos and pies the past month, that I've neglected my blog. This is going to change! As this year draws to a close, I vow to keep you entertained with even more side-splitting observations in 2011.
Writing isn't easy, as you can tell by my past posts, but someone needs to get all the political-socio-pop culture-NYC happenings-TV disasters out there, and that responsibility has clearly fallen into my boney lap.
I encourage you all to find your voice. Embrace your opinions. Seek the truth. And if you can't find any of those, then make shit up.
I close with the video cartoon I recently created that has brought me and the entire world the greatest joy this year. Here's hoping that 2011 isn't a disaster ... like Spider-Man.
xo Pete

Cabaret Show

2010-12-15T09:27:00.000-05:00

I made a sequel to One Man Show. Here it is ... xo

Dollars for Donuts

2010-12-08T08:44:00.000-05:00

I tried to withdraw a French Cruller and a Caramel Latte, but all I got was a hundred dollar bill and a withdrawal fee. America really does run on Dunkin'.

One Man Show

2010-12-07T07:26:00.000-05:00

I teach classes in creating one man shows. I direct one man shows. I performed several one man shows. So, I made a short movie about not doing one man shows.

Lost Elmo, Elmo & Elmo!

2010-12-03T08:34:00.002-05:00

Saw this creepy gang outside Radio City Music Hall.

Insert your own witty caption. I'm too traumatized.

Gay People Hate Me

2010-12-02T08:48:00.002-05:00

I posted a YouTube video featuring shots of Lea Michele's intense performance of "Don't Rain on My Parade" at the 2010 Tony Awards. I scored it with Jerry Goldsmith's music.
I got hate mail.
Below are some of the exchanges I had with the angry defenders. I thought you'd enjoy my responses (in yellow). I know I did.

You can view the video HERE and judge for yourself.

xo Blackout Pete

Cracked Nutter

2010-11-30T09:44:00.001-05:00

(The Sugar Plum Fairy photo was way too graphic to post)

Happy National Opt-Out Day!

2010-11-24T07:33:00.002-05:00

Get ready for long lines and irate carnivores!
   Brian Sodegren started this insane National Opt-Out Day movement saying, ""The goal of National Opt-Out Day is to send a message to our lawmakers that we demand change. No naked body scanners, no government-approved groping. We have a right to privacy and buying a plane ticket should not mean that we're guilty until proven innocent."
   Not surprisingly, Mr. Sodegren, who's rumored to have a disaster films fetish, a miniscule penis and a history of sexual abuse isn't even flying during the holiday.
   Thanks to Brian, and the bomb-loving idiots who are protesting with this couch potato, the rest of us law-abiding citizens will be arriving late to Grandma's house and eating over-cooked turkey at midnight.
   Here's hoping Mr. Sodegren's plan makes this Thanksgiving "the bomb."

Hand Job

2010-11-11T07:02:00.003-05:00

The local deli installed this handy device ...

It's so complimentary ...

It's robo-voice told me "You have lovely, well-maintained cuticles, Mr. Marino, and you are very handsome."

You Are What You Eat

2010-11-08T10:36:00.000-05:00

... especially if this is how you start your day.

"Things" on sale!

2010-11-04T09:45:00.000-04:00

Just in time for that special someone

who asked Santa for "THINGS" for Christmas.

Expectations

2010-11-03T12:11:00.001-04:00

My therapist suggested
I lower my expectations,

so I suggested
she lower my co-pay.

Doggie in the Window

2010-11-03T11:28:00.003-04:00

So, do I get paid a whopping $2,495.00 for this fugly creature to come home with me and slobber all over my couch? Or is that how much I have to pay? Cause, I can get slobbering on my couch for free after a couple of shots of tequila and a good pick-up line.

Why Our Voting System Sucks

2010-11-02T10:48:00.002-04:00

Two words ... Butter Pecan. Butter Pecan?!

Seriously?

Apologies

2010-11-01T14:43:00.001-04:00

Hello Loyal Reader,
I'm so sorry that I haven't blogged in a few weeks. I was very busy working on a brand new show that only my closest friends and family came to see. I will be back soon with even more average observations and sub-standard photos.
xo Blackout Pete

UFO's and What Gets Me ...

2010-10-14T13:46:00.005-04:00

... is that when I posted the story of witnessing UFO's in the sky over NYC yesterday afternoon, many of my closest friends mocked me. Literally, mocked me, like I was a nut job, a liar or stoned -- which I have indeed been at various times of my life and this week. People were even mocking us on the street as we watched. 3 dozen people got mocked!
Thing is, I never used the word aliens. Or spaceships. I just said UFO. And that was what it was. And it was thrilling.
Thanks, New York for another experience that could only happen here.
Here's a video of the crowd that I shot. Couldn't make out the shapes in the sky with my camera. The people were more interesting! UFO OVER NYC

BABY - FAT

2010-10-13T08:40:00.000-04:00

Trying to lose weight? Listen to this!

Food for Thought

2010-10-12T08:11:00.000-04:00

Can someone tell me what's so "creative" about poking a stick in something, dipping it in hot sugar and rolling it in nuts? Sounds like just another Friday night in my bedroom.

Hold the Pepperoni Sprinkles!

2010-10-08T10:14:00.000-04:00

Pizza Cones are here ...

... cuz pizza was so challenging

to eat "on-the-go" in the past.

Fire Sale!

2010-10-07T08:19:00.000-04:00

Future Starbucks, T-Mobile, or Pinkberry?

Dreaming No Longer Free

2010-10-06T09:27:00.000-04:00

Separated at Birth #4

2010-10-04T10:06:00.000-04:00

Renee Zellweger

Chipette

Sweet Surgery

2010-10-01T08:23:00.000-04:00

What's wrong with this game-based candy?

No livers, bladders or spleens.

Unicorns DO Exist!

2010-09-30T08:24:00.000-04:00

And it's flavored with glitter!

Olympic Stripping

2010-09-28T07:59:00.001-04:00

And don't forget to get

your tix for the upcoming

Lap Dancing Championships!

Happy 12th Birthday Google!

2010-09-27T08:39:00.000-04:00

I wish my friends knew about you!

But, I think you're swell.

Tag! You're Not It.

2010-09-26T14:37:00.003-04:00

Overheard this lass complaining to her gal-pal that she hasn't had a date in over a year.

Hmmm...